Values are your compass in life whether they are conscious or unconscious. Values drive thoughts, words, deeds. They shape your perception, your choices, your actions and how you feel. Values reflect your purpose, what you have come to learn in your lifetime.
Values determine how you spend your most time and most money as well as your discipline, commitment and focus – all very important when you want to get healthier. They also determine where you spend these the least.
‘invariably you run out of time/energy/money/resources for that which is
least value to you’
The challenges you face are when you are not clear about your values. If you are not living your own values (either consciously or unconsciously) and are trying fulfil someone else’s or society’s values, you will have inner conflict and incoherence. This causes tiredness, anxiety, depression.
Values are reflected by body/mind relationship and lead to symptoms and diseases
If you are not aware of your highest values, you often overlook opportunities in life a generally find it hard to feel that your ‘day to day’ is rewarding. When you are aligned to and fulfilling your own personal authentic values everyday, you feel more alive, more fulfilled, more inspired and more motivated.
Note: motivation comes from outside of us – when you need to do something you don’t want to do, whereas inspiration is inside of you that you, something you want to do.
How do you know if you are living someone else’s values or are conforming to societal norms that are not helping you? A key pointer is to listen to your language either inner dialogue or spoken. You are not living to your own values if your language is in the imperative, such as: I must do do this; I should; I ought; I’m supposed to to do; I have to do this. This leads to comparisons of our lives with other people and ‘grass is greener’, negative thinking. If we really we want to do something our language will be: I want to do this; I love to do this.
Don’t get confused with favourable traits. Values are not behavioural/favourable traits such as integrity, kind, compassionate, generosity etc. – because trying to live up to that standard is impossible. The law of popularity identifies that if you are kind you can also be cruel, if you are compassionate you can also be judgemental, generous / stingy etc.
Take time out to get clarity.
Write it down!
The physical process of writing things down that shifts mindset:
‘fires & wires new neurological pathways’
Questions to determine your current highest values:
- How do you fill your personal space – office, home?
- How do you spend your most time in day?
- How do you spend your most money?
- How do you spend your most energy?
- Where do you have the most order / discipline in your life (we organise in our lives what matters most – we are disorganised when it matters least)?
- Where are you most responsible?
- What dominates your thoughts?
- What do you visualise the most (daydream)?
- What is your inner dialogue?
- What do you talk to others about (outer) – what do you direct the conversation to in a social gathering (this has meaning to you)?
- What inspires you?
- What are the most consistent long-term goals that you are still working on today?
- What do you love to learn / study / read about / research?
Are these values helping you? Are they yours? Are you conforming to social norms? Are they your parents values?
Is health in your top 3 highest values? If not it is time to align health (6 foundational principles) to your highest values to achieve your health goals.
Note: self sabotage where behaviour undermines values it is often because of another value you are trying to achieve / fulfil e,g. alcohol and social needs. Identify this and replace the behaviour with a healthier one.
Exercise: write down 50 ways how a task/behaviour is helping achieve one (or more) of your highest values.
Values appraisal helps you look deeper to what you value in life, what your mission/purpose is and what lessons you have come to learn.
Resources: CHEK Institute